The Opposite of Resisting Your Thoughts

The process of being mindful has various fundamental risks associated with it. Some feel good, and some do not.

The feel good one's include relaxation, stress reduction, and changes in the perception of time (more time? see ref. below). 
The not so good one's basically revolve around becoming more aware and in contact with elements of our internal selves that we generally would rather not know about.

When we come into contact with one of these elements (e.g., a negative or adverse thought), it is common for us to do the following things:

1. Identify with the negative thought
2. Resist the negative thought

These two processes are not mutually exclusive.

To identify with the thought means to attribute that thought as "me". It is who I am. The fundamental difficulty with this step is that by attributing the negative thought as yourself is to believe that I am that thought. For example, if the thought was to contain anger, then one would believe that describes them as angry. Social connection would then compound this attribution and reject you - for anger is an undesired trait. I am wrong/bad. So the pain associated with identifying with an angry thought becomes a complex interplay of multiple emotions.

To avoid the pain of identification with such an internal environment, it is also common for us to resist (push away) that which is perceived as painful. The fundamental issue here is that to avoid such a situation creates a subtle form of internal tension. This tension, though subtle, does not dissipate easily. It hangs around. It even grows.

Have you ever had an event in you life such that you resisted thinking about it because it caused more pain? You hurt someone? They hurt you? To think about it seemed more painful than facing it? So you did everything in your power to avoid it, press it down, keep it in the dark?

Did you also notice that that event kept knocking on your door? Little things would remind you of it. It would take more and more effort to press it down. When you were tired it would come knocking and even leak into your life in some way (e.g., getting snappy, stressed, crying).

This process describes the age old saying: 

'What you resist, persists'

The event happened once (or not at all), but we internally replay it dozens of times. Internal events can be unbelievably powerful.

The processes above are not mutually exclusive. We resist internal events, such as thoughts about an external event, BECAUSE we identify with them. We attribute that internal thought to our-SELF in some way. This is the resistance that contributes to the further suffering we cause ourselves:
- The event +
- Our relationship or reaction to it (thoughts plus resistance)

Another step has been suggested:

3. Welcome our negative thoughts

What if, we allowed that internal event (thought, feeling) to stay with us for a moment - to just sit where it was in our mind. To identify, notice, &/or even observe the thought. To not resist or push it away. What if we also recognised that while thoughts are internal, they are not created by us? They are external events to the self. They arise and disappear with out our effort. It is very similar to saying I did not digest my breakfast - it happened with out me. It's just that certain thoughts have conditioned certain responses to them (fear, anger, sadness). The response is the problem - not the thought.

The process of Mindfulness is actively welcoming such events to occupy space in our mind - when they arise - and for as long as they remain. I would propose to you, that thoughts do not hang around for very long (seconds at most). They have a life of their own. They are not you. 

Mindfulness is a skill in creating a new relationship with internal events. Imagine sitting at peace within the storm. Rather than resisting adverse events as they arise, welcome them. It will save you oodles of energy and mental space, and may also free you from their grip. The tension to keep them at bay will not be required, and just possibly, you'll recognise that thoughts carry no power of their own. You can entertain a thought and still decide counter to them. They are external, and you control your attention and relationship to them.

References

Kramer, R., Weger, U., & Sharma, D. (2013). The effect of mindfulness meditation on time perception. 

doi: 10.1016/j.concog.2013.05.008

Segal, Z., Williams, J., & Teasdale, J. (2002). Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for depression: A new approach to preventing relapse.  

What If You Could Direct Where Your Mind Goes?

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another"

William James

We all know what it is like to succumb to distraction in our day. The ability to concentrate can be impacted by people, tasks, habits and addictions, and any number of unhelpful thoughts. Sometimes it may feel like we have no control over where our attention goes at any particular moment.

Let's try a quick activity.

Look around where you are right now. Choose 4 items/objects from this space (e.g., window, chair, light fitting, cup). Next, one after the other, look at each item you have selected in progression for about 3 seconds. Go.

How did you go? Easy?

Now do the exact same progression....but this time with your eyes closed. Direct your attention to those items in the same order for about 3 seconds each. Go.

What did you notice? Just as easy? More difficult?

What you may have found is that you were the director of where your attention was at each particular moment. We are able to select on purpose the direction of our attention, and this is the fundamental basis for Mindfulness - instead we select the present moment, the breath, or external sounds. 

Think of it like a muscle - it may be weak now, but with consistent practice it will get stronger.

Try this activity over the next few days as a warm up to your mindfulness practice. The purpose is to help you realise that your attention is far more up to you than you thought.

What if you could apply directing attention away from ruminative, anxiety, or worry driven thoughts, toward the present moment or the breath? 

Remember to take 5 minutes, put down your day, and bring your attention to the present, to your breath - as thoughts arise, direct your attention back to the breath.

Keeping It Simple

While the practice of Mindfulness is simple - It is not necessarily easy. As with most anything else, it is possible to get better at it. But better doesn't mean skilful - it means you feel better about it. 

As we continue to practise, there is a greater familiarity with it. You become more comfortable. As you start, you know where you're at and what you are about to do. Familiarity. Familiarity helps to overcome procrastination and the shoulds-coulds-woulds – the expectations we may have. Familiarity helps to overcome the initial need to perfect it or not make mistakes.

Keeping mindfulness simple is most important when you’re starting out, so try this – STOP.

Stop

Take a breath

Observe

Proceed

STOP is a simple structure for initiating your practice. STOP can take 30 seconds or 30 minutes. You could use it to start your practice, or it can be your practice.

Whatever you are doing -

Stop

Take a deep, slow, mindful breath (or ten)

Observe or notice what it feels like. Get especially into the feeling in the body - it gets you out of your head

Proceed with your day. Notice any change now compared to how you were feeling when you started

Familiarity comes from doing mindfulness a number of times. So to become familiar, you need to do it. The boundaries are set by no-one but yourself. Make a commitment. For example, five minutes per day for the next week. Then do another week. Notice the difference following Mindfulness.

The more and more familiar you become with it, the more you can slot it into your day – waiting for your coffee, sitting before a meeting, held up at a red light, the last thing you do before you lay your head down at night or the first thing you do after you wake.

No one would know.

If you're going to take 5, make it a present5

Put Down Your Day For 5 Minutes

Mindfulness is a skill practiced not only to help people manage responses to daily stressors (deadlines, exams), but also to increase positive emotion. By practicing Mindfulness, we can positively and deliberately recognise and influence how we experience adverse emotions throughout our day, and how we engage in our daily work.

We all know the concept of ‘taking 5’ minutes rest to recover and recharge – however, time off is only part of the benefit. By focusing attention consciously on the present moment, we take a break from the worries of the future and regrets of the past, no longer feeding the stress response of our body and rumination of the mind. This is the simplest thing to do. No need to quieten the mind, or try to relax - a quieter mind and relaxation are the results of bringing your attention into the here and now.

This can be done anywhere at any time - take 30 seconds or 30 minutes - and be completely anonymous. So, stop, switch of the phone, put down your possessions and the day so far, breath, and find the present moment. It is right under your nose.

If you’re going to take 5, make it a present5

Back to Basics

Mindfulness is a practice. It is an action that is not meant to be perfected. While there is a field of awareness, our mind moves around attending to thoughts about almost anything in our day. We can see that our attention moves from a central focus (e.g., the breath) to thoughts that come to mind, which generally lead to the next thought, and then to the next thought and so on.

The process of Mindfulness is fundamentally recognising where our attention has moved to and then gently bringing the attention back to an intended focus (e.g., the breath). It is common for beginners to become disheartened with the practice due to perceiving that they must force the attention to remain on a single focus indefinitely.

Mindfulness is the process of recognising the location of attention, and bringing the attention back to your intended focus.

This focus may be the breath at the nostrils or belly, your big toe or the variety of sounds outside. Whatever you choose, it is completely normal for the mind to be distracted from your focus and attend to thoughts. 

This process provides the opportunity to practice mindfulness and train attention. Attention training, research suggests, has psychological health benefits across many domains of experience.

So next time you beat yourself up for a wandering mind, remember that the process of bringing the attention back to your focus is the practice of Mindfulness.

Welcome To The New present5 Mindfulness Blog

There are many ways to influence  the stress and unease we feel under the pressure of a busy schedule. Juggling many separate tasks at home, work, study - with children, friends, family - and with our own expectations and internal pressures. Mindfulness is just one of those ways. 

There is nothing new presented here but to further help in demystifying Mindfulness, while attempting to simplify the purpose of mindfulness. 

We can be distracted by all the ideas of quiet minds, relaxation, increased attention, contentedness, mental control and improved overall well-being.

Mindfulness is a practice that research suggests when practiced consistently, results in these benefits. The focus is to train our attention toward mindful awareness of the here and now as it is.

Please contact me at any time with enquiries and comments at present5mindfulness@gmail.com. Also feel free to comment on posts as they appear.

Remember to check back here for weekly posts regarding Mindfulness, stress management and well-being - and remember,

If you’re going to take 5, make it a present5